When I was little....

I couldn't talk.
My sister katie, who is 16 months older than i am, had to translate my babble for me.
She understood me.
She was the only one, too.

This is katie.
She is beautiful.
and she doesn't know about this blog.
then again, who does?
perfect.





someday, you will read this, katie.
and when you do, i hope you feel loved and appreciated, because you are by me.
and thank you for giving in and letting me take these pictures.
be a model.

Themes

God works in themes.
This, atleast, has been my experience.

The three themes that He has been speaking to me for the past couple of months are 1) Accepting, 2) Surrendering, and
3) Sacrificing.

He's teaching me the importance of accepting; accepting my circumstances, accepting people, accepting myself.
Accepting.
Not running away.
Not trying to fight against that which i have no control over.
Not dwelling on the past.
Not worrying about the future.
Accepting the present moment: all the good and bad it entails.

My mom told me something really profound during my time at home this Christmas.
She said that what causes us to suffer the most is not necessarily what happens to us. Instead, it is our attempt to change things that we don't like. We suffer when we don't like our circumstances, when we don't like ourselves and we react to this displeasure by striving to change these things.

God has also been showing me that I need to accept His grace in order to experience His love and freedom.
Grace is something that has always been such an impossible, abstract concept to me.
I don't know how to accept it.
It isn't natural for me to accept it.

There is no conemnation for those in Christ Jesus.
Period.
How can i condemn myself, wheny Jesus Christ does not condemn me?
Am i of greater authority than Him?


i just got really tired....more themes later.

...and that's all I have to say about that.

I miss Lauryn.

I also miss Buttsy.

And my mom.

and Ri-puppy.



I'm happy.
But I still miss people/dog.

I'm in a place where I'm really content to be where I am, not just physically, but in every aspect of being.
At the same time, however, I want more.
I always want more.
I want to want more of what i should want more of.


Something else: I only really feel comfortable around the crazies.
why?
I don't know.
Maybe I'm crazy too?
There's just something about normality that scares me.
I don't like perfectly shaped boxes.
I don't like rigid things.
I need to breath.
I need flexibility.
I need to be able to be.


Scatter brain.